General Music Discussion: Drummer jokes

Well, I got drunk the other day with a friend (it had been a long day) and we had a sing-song and impromptu jam. As the beer flowed, he started telling me drummer jokes and I laughed sooooooo hard a bit of 'wee' may have come out. Problem is there were sooooo many jokes I forgot most of them; so.....

1 - got any great drummer jokes? (no offence drummers...just for fun)
2 - the last time you cried so hard with laughter - a bodily function nearly occurred (could be related to point 1 ) ?

PS - maybe the drummers have 'guitarist' jokes? Something like, that solo was so long you could time it with a calender....

How can you tell if a drummer is at the door?---The knocking speeds up.
How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?---five, one to change it and four to talk about how much better Neil Peart coulda done it.
Hey buddy, how late does your band play tonight?---I dunno a couple beats behind the drummer.

What do you do when your band's drummer shows up at your front door? Tip him and take your pizza.

What do you call a drummer without a van? Homeless.

I don't have a joke.

Well I looked one up on the internet and it is funny enough to include, (I don't think I am alone Googling "drummer jokes" here :

What does a drummer use for contraception? His personality.

The thread did remind me of how people will catapult their status by referencing some event involving a famous musician. When John Bohnam died I knew a guy (a drummer) who went around telling everyone how tragic it was for him because Bonham was his favorite drummer. He did it in a way that sort of implied they were kindred spirits. He seemed to use this to validate his standing as a drummer. I also once worked with a woman who proclaimed her disappointment that JImmy Page had married as if she was in the running to date him. Considering the groupie menu available to Page she was about a -15. I think she would have gotten riled up had anyone openly expressed similar feelings for him as though he was hers.

Q: Why do so many drummers have delivery driver jobs??

A: Ever tried stuffing a trap kit into a Yugo?

Hilarious stuff.....cheers chaps.....

What do you call a drummer in a suit?..........the defendant
What do you call a drummer who just broke up with his girlfriend?....homeless
Why do guitar players carry a pair of drumsticks on their dashboard?.....so they can park in the handicap zone
Who is that guy always hanging around with the musicians?......the drummer
How do you get a drummer to play softer?......put sheet music in front of him

MB

What does a Drummer say when he gets his first job?
'"Would you like fries with your meal sir?"